The Tech GERD must be getting older because there are things that bother him that never used to. Patience is what I need, but until I get some, here is my list…
- Slow Internet – Remember when we used a dial up modem and that strangely wonderful squeal it would make when it connected? Remember the blazing fast speeds we achieved back in those days when the internet was young and our patience long? Now if it takes more than two seconds for a web page to open I’ll hit the big “X” and move on! That being said, when in the rare case my internet slows down I find my anger and impatience rising. When that happens, remember those early dial-up days.
- No Internet – This is the only thing worse than slow internet! I travel from time to time and there are those rare times when I check into a Hotel and it has no Internet. Only the Per Diem rate and sheer fatigue prevents me from immediately checking out and finding a Hotel from this planet. Our society has become so used to the internet that we expect it everywhere – and just about have. Airplanes, Starbucks, McDonalds, even hospitals and Doctor Offices have it. The first time I attend a funeral and see a “Free Internet Available” sign on the door I’ll know things have officially gone too far.
- Red Lights – In my town it seems that the City Engineers have developed a strategy for me to hit every Red Light in town, no matter how close or far apart they are, and no matter what the traffic conditions are. If the Police have a device to change the lights when they are on emergency runs (a great idea, by the way), why can’t they invent a “Smart” Red Light that can “See” traffic and “Talk” to the other Red Lights to help traffic flow instead of stopping 75 cars for a single car when they run over one of those activation strips under the road. Please?
- Commercials – I must admit, I rarely see commercials anymore (thank you DVR). I know advertising pays for Network TV, but haven’t we progressed beyond this simplistic notion? Someone give me a pay-for-channel menu and let me make my own choices. It works pretty well everywhere it is used (Pay-for-view events, Google Play, Amazon Video, iTunes). I can buy almost any TV episode for $1.99 ($2.99 for HD) and it’s mine forever with no commercials. Have you seen that Football games (just a few for now) are available on iTunes? No commercials, just the entire game (i.e. Super Bowl XLII) for $2.99! I like it!
- Network TV – See above. Some of the worst ideas ever created by mankind are on display most any night on Network TV and reality shows are the worse. Other than sports, I watch one (count ‘em, one) network TV show. You Keep up with the Kardashians, Duck Dynasty, have a Storage War and be Amish in the City. Give me an old Carol Brunette or Magnum P.I. episode anytime.
- USB 2 – Did I say I hate slow things? USB 2 officially falls into that category. With external hard drives reaching 3TB in size and with prices falling faster than a Meteorite in Russia, USB 3 just doesn’t cut it anymore. Send USB 2 to the land of 8-track tapes, dot matrix printers, and floppy disks and speed up my life!
- Non-standard connectors – As a Tech GERD I have lots of electronic toys. My specialty is Bluetooth headphones – I must have 8 or 10 different ones. The ones that get used are not only the best; they are the ones with a standard power connector (Mini or Micro-USB). I have one set of Bluetooth headphones I can never use again. It has a unique connector (I hate unique when it comes to connectors) that I lost long ago, so it will never be charged again. I never buy a headphone or other like item until I’m satisfied it has a standard power connector.
- Lack of Bluetooth – When the original Kindle fire came out, it did not have Bluetooth. Something about saving money or some other poor excuse. Did you notice that when the Kindle Fire HD came out it had Bluetooth? Can you name a successful device that doesn’t have Bluetooth? Do me favor technology producers around the world; never make the mistake of a Bluetooth-less device again!
- Internet Flamers – I used to read the comments section on a variety of web sites, especially Technology sites, but also news, sports, and politics. Regardless of the topic, you will always find at least two or three who feel the need to harshly criticize whatever is being talked about. When I say harshly, I mean nastily, viciously, even brutally assaulting the topic, the writer, or both. I call these “Internet Flamers” – the only way they can get noticed is to be so blatantly ignorant. They enjoy it even more when others fall for the trap and answer back, encouraging the anonymous flamer to go even further. The anonymous nature of these comments (can anyone say Twitter?) encourages stupidity and meanness; avoid them!
- Lists of “10 Things that…”– I know, I know; I’m violating my own pet peeve here, but the web is full of top ten lists. The technology sites are full of “Top Ten Phones” or “Top Ten MP3 Players”, or my favorite, “Top Ten Things We Want to See in the Next Release of …” Many times the tenth item is a link to another list of “Top Ten Things That…” It never ends…